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The Secret History by Cesare M
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Name: Robin_Mask (Signed) · Date: September 22, 2016 02:36 pm · For: Chapter 1
Excellent story :)

I think you hit the characterisation perfectly, but particularly with the dialogue (it felt very natural, flowed smoothly, and seemed to really pick up on their individual quirks of speech). The narrative voice wasn't as strong, but Lestat's personality shone through and it was highly enjoyable.

The grammar and spelling was perfect, which is such a relief to see in fanfiction! It was clear you put in an immense effort, and that effort paid off well. You also have a great balance between dialogue and description, so the scene is set well, and the pacing is also good.

Very good work! :)

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